Uh-Oh… The Boss Wants to Talk! 

Just six words.

Can we talk for a minute?

It was from my manager—short, vague, and sent with no context.

I froze. I knew, my day was ruined.

I stopped clacking on the keyboard, couldn't focus. Heartbeats pounding. Brain rapidly scanning the last few hours and last few days. Had I missed a deadline? Sent the wrong file? Made a joke in the team meeting that made someone 'uncomfortable'? 

Even though I couldn’t pinpoint anything, I was convinced that something was really, terribly wrong and bad things were going to happen to me.

Turns out, my boss just wanted to discuss rescheduling a meeting!!!

The Neuroscience of Uncertainty

Don't blame yourself. Your overreaction is how your head is wired. According to neuroscience, our brains hate uncertainty, especially in a boss-subordinate dynamic where with a power imbalance. 

So when a message from your boss says can we talk? without any detail, your brain treats it as a threat. Evolutionary psychology teaches us how our ancestors didn't wait to see if the rustle in the bushes was a deer or a lion. They assumed the second and ran for their lives - fast. Today, we still make decisions like our forefathers - only it's Slack or Microsoft Teams notifications instead of sharp-toothed predators.

Negativity Bias 

You and I give more attention and weight to negative possibilities than positive ones. As a result, we tend to interpret neutral cues as bad news. A message from a manager, a calendar meeting invite without a subject line, or even a long pause in a conversation can trigger a flood of anxious thoughts. 

But, when the actual conversation happens, many a time it's something quite mundane and not at all life threatening! An update, a feedback, or a quick query. But sometimes , the brain's default mode of negative anticipation makes it unbearable.

How Bosses Can Help 

If you’re the boss, there’s something really simple you can do to spread this unintended negativity in your subordinates. ADD CONTEXT next time you send professional messages. Instead of Can we talk?, try Hey, do you have a minute to chat about tomorrow’s plan? Nothing urgent. I know, you're super busy (all bosses are) but this can reduce unnecessary anxiety and build a culture of psychological safety in your workforce.

What 'You' Can Do?

Pause, then assume: Remember your brain can predict wrongly and your first thought is not always the right one. 

Cognitive Reframing: Take a s-l-o-w breath (FYI. 1 breath=1 inhale+1 exhale) and ask yourself: What else could this mean? Your giving your brain a chance to calm down to create alternatives.

Ask for clarity: Be assertive. Reply her/his message: Sure! Anything specific I should prepare for? First, it’s professional and second it stops your brain from catastrophizing.

Parting Thought

Cryptic messages from your boss will probably never stop feeling slightly scary but understanding why we react this way can help you cope better and maybe even laugh about it later. In a world of back-to-back meetings, overflowing inboxes, and infinite scroll, a little clarity and human empathy costs nothing but goes a long way to create a better workplace.